I was in quite a quandary as to what to draw for this week’s Q-themed Alphabeast and, after much flailing about and crying to the heavens, I discovered this guy, Qanekelak. So, if you were one of the Bela Bela people indigenous to the frosty plains of North Western Canada, you might know right away that Qanekelak is a cosmic killer whale creature sometimes described as having the head of a whale and the body of a human. He apparently starts up something called the Killer Whale Clan and I’m sure they ain’t nuthin’ to muck wif. Here he is out on the tundra as evening closes in, contemplating the stars and smoking a bit of that ol’ Aurora Borealis.

This week’s Alphabeast is the problematic peevish phantasm known as a Poltergeist. He’s a nasty little piece of work and an all around troublemaker. Literally a “noisy ghost” by his German etymology, Poltergeist are generally thought of as malevolent spirits that take pleasure in upsetting the living by throwing around solid objects, slamming doors or cabinets and making knocking and stomping noises when decent people are tryin’ to sleep. What a pain. Sometimes these brats of the spectral plane will be tied to a place (perhaps a house hastily built on a burial ground?) and will only haunt a specific locale. But other times they may be attracted to a particular person and follow their hapless victim all around, causing trouble at the office, the grocery store or even in a nearly defunct Blockbuster Video store. It’s best not to get yourself a Poltergeist if you can help it.

Just when he thought he was out, they pulled him back in. The Ouroboros, that is, anAlphabeast with an acute fascination with the deliciousness of his own tail. Often depicted as as serpent or, as here, a dragon feasting away on his own hinder quarters, the Ouroboros is an ancient symbol of the cyclical nature of the Universe and of alchemy and very possibly donuts. Oh, a wagon wheel!

This week’s N themed Alphabeast is Namazu, a giant catfish that the Japanese blame for causing earthquakes with his thrashing about. To prevent these calamities, the god Kashima placed a weighty stone atop his head to pin him to the bottom of the sea. However, occasionally the Namazu wriggles free and shakes the Earth with his mighty tail.

Sigh..who woulda thought that an Alphabeast drawing with a prominent boobie would end up being my least favorite of the bunch (so far)? Oh well, for what it’s worth, here’s a M for Mermaid. I won’t go on and on like usual about her place in mythology ’cause, damn, folks know what a mermaid is, alright. Anyway, I’m pretty unhappy with this one but I just don’t have the time to spend creating a better drawing.

Speaking of which, with the new year come new projects and new commitments. In the coming weeks and months I’m going to have less time to allot to my Alphabeasts drawings and chances are this is the beginning of a trend of crappier submissions. However, I should have some comics and other various illustrations to share as my production of art, hopefully, increases. We’re halfway through this alphabet now, folks, here’s to coasting to the bottom.

This week’s L-themed Alphabeast finds us with a Mesopotamian hybrid that wiggled his way into iconography of the Assyrian, Sumerian and Babylonian cultures of old. I’m pretty sure eventually a Ghostbuster will have to fight this guy. This kind of creature with the body of a bull (or sometimes a lion), the wings of an eagle and the head of bearded hipster can be identified by many names including Shedu, Aladlammu and, in a female form, Apsasu. But, most commonly, he’s just called the good ol’ Lamassu. A Lamassu is generally thought of as a protective spirit, especially as a protector of kings and cities. Great statues of the Lamassu are found in pairs at the gates of ancient cities and palaces of the Mesopotamian region. Less frequently, these beasts are found inscribed on clay tablets that have been buried beneath the homes of commoners. And that’s the la-la-la-la-Lamassu!

It’s K-themed Alphabeasts Monday so RELEASE THE ….um… Kuda-Gitsune? Yep, I thought a lot about doing a Kraken but in the end went with a little cutie instead of a terrible, tentacled, virgin munchin’ sea creature. So Kuda-Gitsune is Japanese for “pipe fox” and references a breed of tiny mouse-sized fox spirits that can be kept in a bamboo pipe (or a shirt pocket) and called upon to divulge secrets of the past and future. These little guys will collect all kinds of information for their keepers and later whisper it into his or her ear like the cutest damn thing imaginable. Awwwww!!!

Ah…I ended up being several days late with my J-themed Alphabeast this week but, hell, he don’t seem too worried about it. What we got here is your classic Jersey Devil. Supposedly born the 13th child of a crazy assed witch lady who willed him to be a devil, this guy has been pokin’ around the Garden State since at least 1909. As a point of trivia, apparently his Christian name is Lucas. But I don’t guess he’s no Christian. Fuggedaboutit!

*** Also, I promise this, once again, is not a drawing of Herc. Even if he is from New Jersey and does got some killer sideburns.

For this week’s I-themed Alphabeasts entry, we travel to the far shores of Japan and observe it’s native dog spirit, the Inugami. An Inugami is a sort of “familiar” that takes the shape of a dog and, most often, is created by ritually mistreating an actual canine. The instructions to create an Inugami suggests burying a dog in the ground with only his head remaining visible, then place a bowl of food just outside of the animal’s reach. As the buried dog begins to hunger, his fixation on the food will become very powerful and the animal’s master may then speak to the spirit of the dog, entreating it to serve him or her. When the dog dies, either from starvation or, in another extreme, by the master sawing the dog’s head off with a bamboo saw, the canine’s spirit will be released as an Inugami and will serve it’s master, the inugami-mochi.

An Inugami may be used most often as a tool to carry out acts of vengeance and to act as a guardian to the inugami-mochi. However, the dog spirits exhibit a will of their own as well and may sometimes turn on their masters or possess a human being. Possession by an Inugami is said to cure illness but will also result in the person behaving like a dog.

For my Alphabeasts drawing, I combined a reference photo of Toshiro Mifune with and adorable and ghostly pug and, finally, a favorite line from the movie “Stand By Me”. Sayonara!

A sensational thing occurred this week as the H letter Alphabeasts were released into the wilds of the internet. A brazen new beast, yellow as a jaundiced banana and with a particular taste for all things butts, broke away from the pack to become everyone’s favorite. This crazy creature is the Hadpanagus, discovered by a tiny genius known only as AZ. Here’s how she described this bottom fixated rascal:

“* HADPANAGUS just walks around & says “look! a butt!” & he eats butts! & grows butts! & wears butts! he just loves butts! *”

“Hadpanagus also hooks butts onto his butt, so all the butts trail along behind him like a tail. he already has a tail, so now that he hooked a butt tail on, he feels like he has two tails! he even sews butts together for blankets & pillows & matreses & carpets & you know what? he even sings about butts! he just needs butts! just give him some butts! he has millons of butts he has millons of piles of butts. he eats butts with butter he also chases giingerbread men a lot, so he can stick them in the crack and then put some salt and pepper and butter on!”

Here’s AZ’s original Hadpanagus drawing, taken from her very talented mother’s  Lupi Loops site (see Lupi’s haute cuisine Hadpanagus here):

The Hadpanagus has taken control!! All butts are now his. Check out some other butt flavored fun from Andrew Neal and Isaac Cates who have both given in to Hadpanagus fever. Heck, get out there and draw your own Hadpanagus, why doncha now, hey? BUTTS!!!